Rock of Love
by jwoo2525
Summary: After the slumber party where Donna invited the stripper, Jackie left PP in the middle of the night, carrying with her a secret.  What will happen when she appears 2 years later in a way no one expected?  Not a xover but gg girl characters are in story.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a song-fic with songs from the 80s, and decades after, that sound 80s to me. For story purposes, Cyndi Lauper doesn't exist and Madonna never recorded "Papa Don't Preach" in my 80s world (it will soon become quite obvious why). Everything else about the 80s is the same, except this song fic doesn't pay any attention to release dates of the actual 80s songs. Also couldn't find a transcript of that episode so whatever dialogue (which is very little, is from memory).

Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Not Gossip Girl. Not That 70s Show or any of the characters from either. Not Cyndi Lauper. Not Girl Just Want To Have Fun or any rights to it. Not a fox in a box. I do not own them jwoo2525 I am, I do not own any of the previously mentioned things.

_Point Place, WI July 15, 1979_

Jackie had just run out of Donna's bedroom. _What the hell was she thinking? Why would she invite her? _

Jackie didn't know if she should be more hurt or pissed at Donna. Jackie had wanted Donna's advice on a serious matter and was in need of comfort. But, what was supposed to be the night Jackie could release her woes, turned into the night from hell when the very source of her problems and current state of depression walked through the door in all her bleached blonde, dim-witted glory. To make matters worse, she realized she left Fluffycakes in the room with that skank. _Eww, my poor unicorn. Ugh, now I have to go back and get him_. As Jackie got back to the top of the staircase she could hear muffled voices from behind the door. _Who knew the bimbo could even hold a conversation?_ She leaned her ear close to the door when she heard Sam speaking.

"Why are you even friends with her?" Jackie waited for Donna to list all the amazing things that were lovable about her.

Silence. Jackie waited longer and still…nothing. Finally, Donna started speaking and Jackie prepared herself again to hear a list of all her wonderful qualities but her face fell at what she heard.

"I don't know, but she's my best friend ok. She just _is._"

As Jackie heard Donna's squeals over Sam's Trans-Am, she looked down at her feet and took a deep breath trying to control the tears that were gathering in her eyes.

_I can't believe it, she replaced me with a whore she's known for two weeks and her rusty old Trans Am! _

If asked, she could have listed a million things to like about Donna, but apparently there was nothing likeable about Jackie. Her self esteem had already taken a hit when Steven chose the stripper whore over her, but in the back of her mind she rationalized his actions with his bitterness and his delusional belief that she'd cheated with Michael. But Donna? Donna was different. _Shouldn't my best friend be able to find something to like about me?_

The longer she stood there, the angrier Jackie got until she found herself forcing the door open with shaking hands, storming into the room, snatching up Fluffycakes and subsequently stomping out, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

_Point Place, WI - July 31, 1981_

"My comrades, the power of the force will guide us home." Eric looked around the Vista Cruiser at his girlfriend and friends with his left eyebrow raised as he spoke in his deep Star Wars voice.

"Eric, if you don't shut up about Star Wars and get us _un_-lost I will strangle you _and _the force to death…and you know I could do it!"

Eric gulped at his girlfriend's threat and turned his eyes back to the road as he tried to figure out where he made the wrong turn.

Hyde sighed and looked out his window "I'm still trying to figure out how the hell I let you convince me to go to a freakin Star Wars convention! Even Kelso wasn't dumb enough to get roped in. That must have been some strong film man!"

"It is because you have been lonely ever since you made my goddess leave and now you will do anything for human companionship."

Donna and Eric groaned inwardly at Fez's comments. It wasn't so much that they weren't all thinking along the same lines, it was that every time someone mentioned anything even remotely related to Jackie, Hyde had a volatile reaction.

Hyde reached over and frogged Fez hard several times on the arm. "Your _goddess_…" he sneered with emphasis "left on her own! No one forced her to! And she obviously doesn't care that much about you. She hasn't written or called you either!"

The car fell silent. No one wanted to comment on the importance of the "either" in Hyde's rant. Even if Donna may have once thought Hyde had genuine feelings for Sam, he made it painfully clear this was not the case when Jackie left.

Three weeks after the sleepover Fez burst into the basement crying that his goddess had disappeared in the night, taking all her things, and leaving a note telling Fez he could have her bed. That day Hyde asked Sam for a divorce only to find out she was already married. They searched for Jackie for over a week, but either no one had heard from her or they were unwilling to give them information. They had even gotten so desperate as to contact Jackie's father, Jack Burkhart, but he refused to add them to his visitation list and never replied to any of their letters. So, two years passed and they were left with nothing but Jackie's memory. It was strange though, now that she wasn't around, _everything_ reminded them of her. Sometimes they'd all be in conversation and there would be a pause where an insulting or self-congratulatory comment should be inserted, but instead there was silence.

The gang had moved on, but the hope of Jackie's return anchored them all to the basement. Eric and Donna were taking classes at the local community college and were now engaged. Fez had recently opened his own salon in Point Place. Kelso and Brooke moved from Chicago back to Point Place where Brooke taught at a daycare and Kelso was back on the police force. Hyde still worked at Grooves and lived in the Forman's basement.

"How about we listen to some music" Eric attempted to diffuse the situation by switching the radio dial on. There was too much angry silence in the car. They caught the last bit of a song that had become quite popular in the last few weeks of the summer.

**…When the workin',**

**When the working day is done.**

**Oh,when the working day is done…**

"Man eighties music is crap. It's all so commercial now" Hyde complained. Although secretly he kind of liked the song. The lead singer in the group had something familiar about her voice. The sound of it soothed him

**…Oh,girls,**

**Girls just wanna have fu-un…**

"I don't know, it's kinda catchy" Eric said as he bobbed his head along with the beat, never taking his hands off ten and two on the steering wheel.

**They just wanna,**

**They just wanna...**

"They just wanna, they just wanna…" Donna sang along "I agree with Eric, it's catchy. Plus, any song that emphasizes that girls want to do the same things guys get to do without judgment is a good song in my book."

**Oh,girls...**

**They just wanna,**

**Have fun...**

"And the lead singers voice is like candy for your ears" Fez said in a dreamy voice as the whole car minus Hyde sang along to the final lyrics of the song.

**Oh,girls..**

**Girls just wanna have fu-un**

**They just wanna,**

**They just wanna...**

**When the working day is done...**

"That was the first single _and hit _from the girl group, The Betties' debut album. Rumor has it that one of the members is from right here in Point Place. I guess we'll all see tomorrow on the very first airing of music videos on MTV! Make sure you all tune in! I'm Sizzling Suzie with WFPP"

"I will be watching the MTV tomorrow for the Betties. They make little Fez very happy."

Tense moment now over, every laughed lightly as Fez went on about little Fez, Hyde ranted about how pop music was controlled by the government, Donna lectured about how songs like "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" were really statements on female equality, and Eric pretended he wasn't still lost.

* * *

_Los Angeles, CA - July 31, 1981_

Jackie was undressing after filming her second music video with her cousins Blair and Georgina, the other two-thirds of The Betties. Jackie was thinking about how much her life had changed over the past two years. After a brief visit with her father in prison, she had followed his advice and come to live in New York City's Upper East Side with her mother's family. She was afraid and lonely. After she'd had an emotional meltdown on Blair one day, her cousins convinced her it wasn't healthy to bottle her feelings, especially in the condition she was in, so she began to write them down and read them to her two cousins and their mutual friend Serena.

One day Georgina suggested that some of the written feelings had a poetic quality. "Kinda like a song" she'd said while reaching for the journal. She began skimming the pages and humming tunes to the words and somehow that morphed into them singing and writing songs together. One day Blair's stepfather, Cyrus, a prominent entertainment lawyer, heard them and convinced them to stop by a friend's recording studio because he knew talent when he heard it.

Her cousin's boyfriend and their promoter and manager, Chuck, broke her from the montage of memories playing in her head. "Ladies, I've considered the changes you suggested for the tour schedule and….I've decided against it." he drawled out as he stroked his chin.

"You mean you considered _my _one tiny change because let's be honest _I _was the only one who wanted to change anything!" Jackie's voice was beginning to become shrill. "Milwaukee's not even a big city!" she yelled.

"But…" Chuck interrupted before Jackie got really started "it's the largest city in your home state and after the airing of your interview and video tomorrow it's guaranteed to sell out. I'm just talking business Jackie. It's settled, the third stop in your tour will be Milwaukee." And with that he exited their dressing room.

"Blair! Sometimes that boyfriend of yours is just…just…ugh!" Jackie sputtered as she slammed down the jar of makeup removal cream she'd been applying to her face.

"While, normally I'd agree he's annoying as hell and generally sleazy…" Georgina said as she sat on the plush couch in their dressing room "this time he has a point. It's guaranteed money."

"Plus…" Blair said, attempting to assuage her cousin "you pretty much put it out there in the interview. He's going to come looking for you regardless. At least now you don't have to make the extra trip or worry about him popping up at your house." she finished weakly.

"I guess you have a point" Jackie sighed "I just don't see this ending well." she bit her lip in worry.

"Well, of course it won't" Gerogina said as Blair's eyes bugged at her trying to mentally convey what _not _to say "well, not at first. He's gonna be angry, but he'll get over it…or… he won't. In which case, you don't need him around anyway." She got up to hug her cousin who's shoulder's were now slumped in defeat.

"I need to go home now. I can't be away from him all day and it's already noon ." Jackie abruptly walked out as Blair and Georgina exchanged glances. Tomorrow the cat would be out of the bag.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters, dialogue, or anything else from That 70s Show or Gossip Girl. Also, don't own Madonna or Papa Don't Preach or the rights to it. Nor do I own Lady Gaga or Bad Romance or the Rights to it.

_Point Place, WI August 1, 1981_

The basement gang was gathered in front of the tv in the Forman living room to watch an hour long airing of music videos on MTV. Eric, Donna, and Fez were on the yellow couch while Hyde sat in Red's green chair and Kelso and Brooke took the floor.

"I wonder who the Point Place chick is in the Betties" Kelso exclaimed "I bet it's Kat Peterson, boy she had a set of lungs on her" he snickered as Brooke slapped him in the back of the head "What? She did!" he yelled, dumbfounded as to why Brooke had assaulted him.

"I bet she is gloriously sexy" Fez said, "I wonder if she is one of the few ladies that have let Fez do it with her."

"Gross Fez" Donna wrinkled her nose looking over at Fez, "shut up it's coming on now."

_Welcome to the MTV video hour, our first video is a two-for-one from the up-and-coming group, The Betties. While this won't be the normal format, you're getting a special treat today, each video will be preceded by interview footage with the featured artist. Without further ado, The Betties._

The television faded to black and then zoomed in on three brunette girls sitting in a radio station.

"What the hell?" Donna exclaimed "Is that…? Is that…?" she was so shocked she couldn't get the words to come out.

"The devil" Eric whispered.

Fez and Kelso just stared at the television with their mouths open.

"Donna, would you please shut the hell up!" Hyde yelled, struggling to hear over Donna's sputtering, as he reached for the remote and increased the volume.

"_You're all cousins right? Grew up together?_

"_Yeah, we're all family_" Jackie answered _"and Blair and Georgie grew up in New York, but I'm from Wisconsin. We spent a many summers and holidays together as kids though" _she added with a playful eye roll and they all laughed.

"_Your name's Jackie right?"_

"_That's correct."_

"_So how did you girls come up with the name, The Betties?"_

"_Blair, you wanna take this one"_ she turned to Blair.

"_Well, originally there were four of us. Us three and our close friend Serena. We're all Brunette and she's a blonde and so we thought we'd name ourselves after the hottest blonde and brunette out there, Betty and Veronica" _she laughed _"but…Serena's modeling career interfered with her group time and unfortunately she had to choose and modeling was her first love"_ she finished with a shrug.

"_Quite the story" _the DJ said _"why don't you tell us about your new songs? Rumor has it that the songs 'Papa Don't Preach' and 'Bad Romance" _the DJ said looking down at a notepad "are about Jackie. Can you confirm or deny that for our listeners?"

"_Well…" _Jackie answered, _"all of our songs are drawn from life experiences"_ Jackie answered, slightly offended at the DJ's line of questioning, but she knew she had to answer truthfully. The record label had practically demanded it. If it got out any other way it could destroy their image.

"_So just so I'm clear. You got a kid?" _the DJ asked her directly. She didn't want to say yes because she knew that would bring unwanted attention from a specific source, but she couldn't lie so she sent a prayer up to heaven that somehow he wouldn't be watching and said _"Yes, I have a one and a half year old son."_

Everyone in the Forman living room was shocked. Having quickly done the math, they all knew.

"What the hell!" Donna exclaimed.

"BURN!" Kelso shouted.

"Aii, you knocked up my goddess and then drove her away to Hollywood where she is sexy for men all over the world" Fez exclaimed.

Hyde ignored them all, angry that Jackie would hide something like this from him and trying to figure out how the hell he was going to get in touch with her.

"_So, is 'Bad Romance' about the kid's father?"_

The basement gang was once again engrossed by the television. But, Georgina piped in before Jackie could answer.

"_Bad Romance is about a toxic relationship. It's when you know being in a relationship with someone isn't good for you, it's really bad but you can't seem to let it go."_

As the gang was still suffering the effects of shock, the first video began to play and they turned their heads to the screen in one fluid motion.

The video began with footage of famous locations and the streets of New York city, accompanied by the instrumental and then as the beat began the image switched to a split screen of the three wealthy looking girls walking down three different streets in New York with Jackie's screen in the middle. The camera zoomed in on Jackie's face with a black background.

**Papa I know you're going to be upset**

**Cause I was always your little girl**

**But you should know by now**

**I'm not a baby**

_So, she went to prison and told her dad about the baby but not me?_ Hyde thought.

**You always taught me right from wrong**

**I need your help, daddy please be strong**

**I may be young at heart**

**But I know what I'm saying**

_Well obviously his idea of right and wrong are skewed Jackie! He's in prison! _Hyde was now shouting at the tv in his thoughts.

As the video switched from images of the girls to a curly haired man, dressed suspiciously like Hyde in a band concert t-shirt and jeans walking down the street making eye contact with Jackie, all eyes in the living room fall on Hyde.

"Burn!" Kelso gets in Hyde's face and yells and Hyde frogs him hard in the arm.

**The one you warned me all about**

**The one you said I could do without**

**We're in an awful mess, and I don't mean maybe - please**

All three girls are now in a black room as they perform a choreographed dance routine and sing the chorus. They are all in black corsets, black shin-length tights, black ballet flats and red lipstick. Jackie's hair is a chin length razor cut and has a streak of pink on the front right. Georgina's hair is styled in a faux-hawk and Blair's hair is in a huge teased ponytail.

"Damn! Jackie looks hot! Even hotter than before! Her boobs are huge!" Brooke rolls her eyes at Kelso and lets out an exasperated sigh as she gets up to leave the room. "What did I do now?" he furrows his brows and leans around the side of the couch and calls out after Brooke "you're hot too!"

"Aii my candy-voiced goddess and her beautiful cousins give me too many needs!" Fez exclaimed exiting the room in a hurry.

**Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep**

**Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep**

**But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby, oh**

**I'm gonna keep my baby, mmm...**

The video shows Jackie as she follows the Hyde look-a-like to his home on the 'bad' side of town where he's greeted a tall blonde in a pink tube top. He looks happy as he leans in to kiss her.

Again, everyone stares at Hyde.

**He says that he will never marry me**

**He already has a family**

**But my baby will be all right**

**If I sacrifice**

_Well damn, if I knew she was pregnant I would've done the right thing. God, I wonder how she's been able to manage starting a music career and being a single mother._

**But my friends keep telling me to give it up**

**Saying I'm too young, I ought to live it up**

**What I need right now is some good advice, please**

_What friends Jackie? You didn't tell any damned body! _Hyde was yelling in his head again.

**Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep**

**Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep**

**But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby, oh**

**I'm gonna keep my baby, mmm...**

There is now a montage of moments where the Hyde look-a-like is kissing and hugging the Sam look-a-like as he observes Jackie watching them and holding her stomach in the background.

**Daddy, daddy if you could only see**

**Just how bad he's been treatin' me**

**You'd give me your support right now**

**But I can do it alone, do it alone, so please**

As mad as he was at her, Hyde's heart ached with guilt at the thought of how he'd rubbed Sam in Jackie's face and that Jackie had been raising his child alone. Despite all her faults, and her abandonment, there were good moments with Edna and Hyde distinctly remembered how hard his mother had worked before she couldn't take the pressure anymore.

**Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep**

**Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep**

**But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby, oh**

**I'm gonna keep my baby, mmm**

**Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep**

**Papa don't preach, I've been losing sleep**

**Oh, I'm gonna keep my baby, ooh**

**Don't you stop loving me daddy**

**I know, I'm keeping my baby…**

When the song ended, everyone just sat in silence - frozen stiff in anticipation of the next images of Jackie to flash across the tv screen.

**Rah Rah, ah, ah, ah**

Hyde stood up and threw the beer he'd never even opened at the wall. It exploded; golden liquid trickling down. The last five minutes had felt like hell and he knew he couldn't sit through another stupid video with everything on his mind. Apparently Jackie had talked to her father and now he needed to talk to his. WB might be the only one who could help him.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

A/N - I want to start off by apologizing to all of you for the ridiculous amount of time it took me to update this story. In my defense, I was unemployed w/no prospects of future employment when I started all these stories and then, out of nowhere, I got a freakin job! So, on the bright side I'm no longer poor, but that means I have less time to update. I promise though, outside of coma, death, or full body paralysis, nothing will keep me from completing every story I've started. Pretty pretty please R&R, it's all I want for Christmas!

Disclaimer - I own nothing, except my shame for taking so long to update. :(

* * *

"I can't believe my other baby boy is leaving!" Kitty sobbed as she hugged Hyde tightly. "Can't you just get her to come here? Why do my babies keep leaving?" Kitty cried into Hyde's shoulder.

"Mrs. Forman..." Hyde began, but his voice got lost in the older woman's tears and tight embrace. He looked behind her to Red, eyes pleading for help. Red sighed as he pried Hyde from his weeping wife's clutches.

"Kitty, Steven is a grown man now and he has responsibilities. He has to do this." He tried reasoning with her.

"I know, Red. I know." Kitty conceded as she went to hug Hyde one last time. "Now you remember Steven, don't gas up at nighttime and don't let yourself get below a half-tank." Kitty nodded while imparting her traveling wisdom.

"Now," she reached down for the cooler at her feet "I packed some turkey and ham sandwiches, pops, and some Twonkies, because I know how much you boys like your sweets." Kitty laughed sorrowfully.

"And remember," she said as they all walked toward the El Camino "don't talk to any strangers…" she scowled slightly "especially strange women. We all know how that worked out for you last time." She kissed a now frowning Hyde's cheek and then turned to her husband "See you inside Red," she said before walking back toward the house, giving the men privacy.

"Ahem," Red cleared his throat catching Hyde's attention "I wanted to uh…apologize." Hyde scrunched his eyebrows in question. "You know, Kitty and I always saw you as our other son and…I let you down when you needed me most." Red was rubbing the back of his neck, in obvious discomfort and Hyde still looked confused. "The one time I bit my tongue was the one time I should've been shouting from the rooftop what a dumbass you were and I can't help but feel it's partially my fault that the Loud One left with your son…my grandkid." Hyde looked at Red stunned.

"Mr. Forman, it's not your fault..." he started but was cut off by Red's gruff reply.

"No, Steven. When I thought…when I _knew_ Eric wasn't ready for marriage I let him know how I felt. I did everything in my power to stop it. When Samantha showed up here, I should've done the same for you and I'm sorry for that."

Hyde stood there staring at the man he would always consider his true father. Even though he and WB were building bridges, WB couldn't go back in time and be there for him all the times that Red was. Red would always be the father that child-Hyde needed and the man that adult-Hyde wanted to be.

"I'm going to give you advice I wish I'd given a long time ago. Don't be a dumbass. You tell that girl how much you love her and do it every day until the day you die if you have to, and marry her. Dear God just…marry the girl." Red said with a frown fixed on his face. Suddenly, his features softened as he looked Hyde in the eye " And take care son." Red shocked them both when he pulled Hyde into a tight embrace. Hyde spoke up, trying hard not to choke on his emotions.

"Thank You." he replied hoarsely as he slid onto the leather seat and closed the car door, taking one last look at the home and family he was leaving behind.

* * *

"Ok, underwear, diapers, shoes, socks, what am I forgetting? Ummm…uh…ok, ok…bottles, can't forget about bottles!"

"J, what are you doing?" Blair asked as she stepped into Jackie's room in their Manhattan penthouse to see the girl frantically pacing and shoving things into a suitcase. They'd just gotten back from Los Angeles so she knew they shouldn't be traveling until they left for the tour.

"Oh!" Jackie exclaimed, dropping the bottle she'd been holding and jumping at the loud crash it made on the hardwood floor. "You startled me!" she replied, avoiding her cousin's question. "You know it's rude to just barge into people's rooms _Blair,_" she said reproachfully to her cousin's enquiring gaze.

"Jackie?" Blair approached the girl, having recognized the fear in her cousin's eyes. "Is this about Alex's father?" she asked, already knowing the answer. Jackie didn't respond, but her stiff posture was answer enough. "You can't run away. You already did that once. It didn't help."

"Don't you think I know that?" Jackie snapped and then sighed, sinking dejectedly into the bed, the adrenaline rush she'd gotten from her last-minute decision to run again, now gone. Blair sat beside her, careful not to wake the sleeping baby. "It's just…I don't know what to do." Jackie admitted as she looked to her son, his rhythmic breathing briefly entrancing her.

A part of Jackie knew Hyde would never hurt Alex and that part of her ached for her son to know his father. But then, she remembered there had been a time when she had thought Hyde would never hurt her either. This was the precise reason she didn't date anymore, she couldn't trust her own judgment. But Alex's heart was far more important than her own.

"Blair?" she took a deep shaky breath "What do you think I should do?"

"Well…" Blair contemplated "the vindictive part of me would have you tell Hyde exactly where to shove it and then have my daddy make it so he couldn't so much as see a photo of Alex in a tabloid magazine without fear of repercussion" Blair said with a glint of evil flashing in her eyes that gave Jackie chills. "But..." she continued in a softer tone "having had first hand experience with separated parents has put things in perspective." Blair reached for Jackie's hand.

"If you love Alex, and I know you do, you've got to let Hyde into his life. I know you're scared he'll get hurt but either you take the chance he'll get hurt and let him know his father or you guarantee he'll be hurt by keeping Hyde away." Blair paused for a moment "Think of how you felt when your father went to prison, or how I felt when my father went to Paris, or Serena and her father. Even what you've told me of Hyde and his dad. Do you really want to do that to Alex?"

Jackie blinked and the barely contained tears began to roll down her face in hot burning streams. "But… I still love him," she whispered sadly as if this revelation alone explained everything and really, it did.

* * *

Hyde fingered the three part Betties album he'd bought on tape. There was already a buzz in the music industry about the innovative music and marketing techniques of the album and he wondered how much of it was Jackie's idea. She'd always been at the cusp of new trends.

Looking through it now he could see that each tape had a title. Tape one: The Good. Tape two: The Bad. Tape three: The Ugly. He laughed softly as he figured this was probably _all _Jackie's idea. If there was ever an appropriate labeling for the stages of their relationship, this was it.

As the first chords in the first song of 'The Bad' began to play, he briefly flashed to the determination he'd had when he went to Chicago, but unlike then, nothing would make him leave her now. He'd get her to love him again and he'd raise his son and they'd be a family.

* * *

Jackie lay back on her bed with her walkman, having let her cousin convince her that running again was the wrong decision, she did her best to calm her frazzled nerves. After Blair had left, their cousin Georgina, their friend Serena, Blair's mother, and even their maid, Dorota, had all tried comforting Jackie. She let out a bitter laugh because as often as she'd wanted to be the center of attention, right now she wished everyone would just leave her alone. Those few weeks before she'd finally had enough and decided to leave Point Place had changed her. She'd discovered that despite her fear of being abandoned, she actually quite liked her own company. Taking a deep, calming breath, she pressed play; The first song on 'The Bad' always brought her back to that moment she realized she had to be her own woman, strike out from Point Place and stop relying on the familiarity of the basement. It hadn't been familiar for a long time anyway. Not with Fez as a ladies' man, a blonde Donna, no Michael or Eric in sight, that weird guy Randy and the stripper whore everywhere, and Steven no longer the man she remembered him being.

* * *

**Every promise you've broken**

**You can have 'em back**

She could remember every promise he ever made to her. When they first got together, he'd promised her he'd never hurt her like Kelso did. Then he cheated on her with the nurse. At the beginning of that summer, when Kelso fell off the water tower, he promised her he'd never hurt her again if she took him back. Then, when she chose him, he chose Raquel instead. When they were finally back together he promised her he'd never choose someone over her again. Then there was Sam.**  
**

* * *

**Every favorite moment**

All their good memories were playing through Hyde's mind as he traveled the highway to New York: Her cheering for him, him shaving his beard for her, Veteran's Day, despite how the date ended. He'd even enjoyed prom, the first half of it anyway. Valentines Day. Their first kiss. Their first real date. The first time they made love. The memories flashed by faster than the scenery through his windshield and Hyde pressed harder on the gas pedal.

* * *

**Every panic attack**

Jackie could pinpoint the second the seed of distrust was firmly planted in their relationship and she'd done it. God if there was ever a time she really wished time machines existed, it was then. Maybe if she'd done a better job explaining her "leftover feelings" he'd understand. Sure, she loved Michael but, she loved Donna, Eric, and Fez too. There had been only one man she was _in _love with then and that was Steven Hyde. She'd tried making him understand when she explained wanting a pet rat just because Georgina had one. The thing with Annette was more about being one-upped by the blonde bimbo from California, it was her pride that made her yell "Get off my boyfriend!" More of a reflex than anything. She didn't want Michael back, but seeing him get over her so quickly reinforced her own insecurities of how easily replaceable she was.

* * *

**Every door left unopened**

**While I just stared through the crack**

If he'd questioned it before, he knew now that this song had to be about them. It was the perfect analogy for the way he'd been with Jackie. It had taken him a little over two years to figure it out, but he knew his Zen had ruined their relationship. While Jackie had been the heart-on-your-sleeve-open-book type girl, he was a cracked door. Allowing her only glimpses of the true emotions he felt for her. He'd wanted to open wide, show her everything in him, but when he finally felt brave enough to try, all he could see was Kelso in a towel talking about "doing it" and the door slammed shut and the locks bolted tight. Now, traveling down the highway, white knuckling the steering wheel, he wished he'd done it anyway. Because now he had a son he didn't know and a woman that he could now admit he was desperately in love with but who probably hated him. And rightfully so.

* * *

**Don't know where this is going**

**And that's where I'm at.**

**And that's just the way it is**

**And that's just the way it is**

And that was just the way it was. Jackie was living her life one day at a time now. Her parents, Michael, Steven - they all taught her that planning your life around others, hanging your hopes on love…it was a bad idea.

* * *

**I don't want your this... No**

**I don't want your that... No**

**I'm moving to Manhattan**

**and I'm never looking back**

**Never looking back never looking**

When she first left, Hyde had thought this was another of Jackie's stunts for attention. Like the first time she'd claimed to move to Chicago. Everyone knew she didn't have a job and searching for one had been hell for her. He recalled now how he thought she was probably hiding out at the mansion because of her stomach flu or whatever it was that caused her to run out of the basement puking her guts out a few days before. Of course, it all made sense to him now: she was pregnant. And no, she didn't plan on ever coming back.

* * *

**I don't want your things... No**

**Don't care what you think... No**

At the very beginning of their relationship, she'd wanted gifts and shiny things. But, over time she learned to appreciate the less material things in life. Of course, every now and then he'd give her something and when they first broke up, she held on to those trinkets as evidence that Steven had once loved her. But, the more she saw him and Sam pawing at each other and could hear their sexual grunts from the room she once shared with him, the more the value of those things were cheapened until they felt like every other gift she'd ever received: bought silence.

**I'm moving to Manhattan**

**And I'm never looking back**

**Never looking back**

Every interaction she observed between Sam and Steven made her question what she and Steven had shared. Every kiss, every hug, every glance across the room, every lust filled gaze made her wonder. Was he acting with Sam or was the act with her? The fact that he'd chosen Sam, he'd stayed with Sam, caused her to lean toward the latter. Steven Hyde had never loved her and that was why she could never look back. There was nothing there to even look at.

* * *

**Gonna hop on the next plane**

**And just see where it goes**

**Gonna empty my closet**

**Gonna throw out my clothes**

**I've got 200 dollars, a guitar and a coat**

**Yeah I hear it gets cold there**

**But I'm already froze**

Hyde knew what it meant to feel frozen inside. He'd spent much of his young life feeling just that way. Being repeatedly abandoned by Bud and Edna had made his heart stony. But then he fell in love with Jackie and he began to feel all warm and fuzzy inside and he'd never felt like that and it scared him. All his life he'd been told he didn't deserve to have such joy, having stolen his mother's career from her and consequently ruined his step-father's life, it wasn't in the cards for him to have his own joy, not when he'd taken so much from others. That's why he always felt that at any moment it would be snatched from him. But, when he made that drive to Chicago he'd finally felt like maybe...just maybe he did deserve that happiness, deserved it with her. But when he saw her in that hotel room, with Kelso wearing nothing but a towel the cold reality came crashing down. Steven Hyde, Point Place's white trash, didn't deserve this happiness and here it was right here, proof that no one loved him, not even the one person he'd finally trusted always would.

* * *

**I don't want your this... No**

**I don't want your that... No**

**I'm moving to Manhattan**

**and I'm never looking back**

**Never looking back never looking**

**I don't want your things... No**

**Don't care what you think... No**

**I'm moving to Manhattan**

**And I'm never looking back**

**Never looking back**

**Never looking back**

**Never looking back**

In her first few months in Manhattan, "Never look back" had become Jackie's new mantra. But, try as she might to follow it, her mind always drifted to her beloved basement memories, back to when everything was good. She began to repeat the command everyday "Never look back" and for two years it worked. That is, until Chuck called to tell her that WB was strong-arming her into letting Steven meet his son, letting him into her life. Looking back.

* * *

**I've learned to take it all in stride**

Taking it all in stride was something Hyde had begged Jackie to do when they were together. He'd wanted her to stop pushing and planning for the future, but the future had come anyway and like he'd feared, he wasn't prepared.

* * *

**To see the world with my own eyes  
I've learned to trust the other side  
Other side other side**

She hadn't learned to trust a damned thing, but like her command to never look back, it was something she aspired to, if only for her son's sake.

* * *

**I don't want your this**

**I don't want your that**

**I'm moving to Manhattan**

**and I'm never looking back**

**Never looking back never looking**

**I don't want your things... No**

**Don't care what you think... No**

**I'm moving to Manhattan**

**And I'm never looking back**

**Never looking back **

**I don't want your things**

* * *

**I don't care what you think**

**I'm moving to Manhattan**

**I'm moving to Manhattan**

**I don't care what you think**

**I don't care what you think**

Hyde knew that was part of his problem, he'd always cared too much what his friends would think of him if he openly showed his feelings for Jackie. Whenever he showed her any kind of emotion in front of them, he was teased. When Eric was leaving Donna for Africa it was serious. No one would've dared laugh at Donna's pain. But when Jackie left for Chicago, even as he was making the choice to follow her, to give her his answer, they were still mocking him. And he'd be a liar if he said it didn't get to him, that it wasn't their derisive laughter he heard when Kelso appeared in that towel. Edna's prediction at prom had finally come to fruition - "they're all gonna laugh at you!" She was right. But as Point Place shrank in his rear-view mirror, he decided he no longer cared what they thought.

* * *

Jackie's walk down memory lane was interrupted by her ringing phone.

"Waldorf-Burkhart residence" she answered.

"Jackie, it's Chuck." came the smarmy drawl through the telephone line. It wasn't that she disliked Chuck, it was his cocky self-assurance and the horrible things he'd done to her cousin that sometimes made her hate him. If she were honest though, she was really angry that despite all the bad things he'd done, he saw the error in his ways and had actually worked to win her cousin's love back. It hurt that no one would ever love her that much. She'd always been the one doing the fighting for her relationships and she usually lost.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" she asked lazily, pretty sure she didn't have to go into the studio today and they weren't scheduled to film their next music video until next week, after which they'd go on tour.

"Just thought you might be interested in knowing we hired Hyde as an extra crew member for the road."

"What!" Jackie yelled, unable to hide the shock in her voice. She knew he was coming, but she hadn't planned on him staying. "Why the hell would you do that?" Her anger was barely contained.

"Because, William Barnett is a well known man in the music industry. He has the ability to blackball us with all the major radio stations. Your career would be over before it even began. This is the only solution if you don't want a custody battle Jackie. He can be around and it won't interrupt your career." Chuck said exasperatedly. He waited for Jackie's response. When all he got was her ragged breathing on the line, he continued "Just thought I'd give you a heads up is all."

"Well consider me notified. Now, if you don't mind, I have a child so my free time is minimal. Is that all?" She responded coldly and Chuck could suddenly tell how she and Blair were related.

"We're good" and with that Chuck hung up the phone. Jackie was just about to call WB and give him a piece of her mind when her son turned over, opened his crystal clear baby blue eyes and began to cry. She reached over to pick him up, laying him down on her chest as she stroked his dark curls.

"Did mama's baby have a bad dream?" she asked him as she continued to stroke his hair and rub his back while he dozed off to sleep again. All thoughts of her anger at WB drifted from her mind as she thought about her child's father for about the billionth time since she'd found out he was headed toward Manhattan.

Whoever said time heals all wounds had obviously never had their heart broken. Because that wound was still fresh and aching and only made worse by the fact that she hadn't seen Steven but she held and touched and loved a part of him every day - their son, Alexander James Hyde.

* * *

Hyde had driven for fifteen hours straight but at 10 pm he finally arrived in Manhattan's Upper East Side. Pulling into the parking deck of Bass Industries, Hyde did something he'd never done before. He prayed. Having listened to "The Bad" and "The Ugly," he realized for the first time that he had damaged Jackie much more than he'd originally thought. Something he'd always loved about her was her childlike innocence. It was one of the reasons that during her 'stalking' phase he never wanted to get with her. Her room was pink and filled with rainbows and unicorns. He, on the other hand, had lost his innocence years ago. Dating her would have been the equivalent to telling a kid there's no Santa Claus. He couldn't do that to her. But in the end, he'd done it anyway and like he had been, she was frozen now.

A limo pulled up and a young man around his age wearing a suit with a purple bowtie exited. "I'm…Chuck Bass." he reached his hand out to Hyde.

"Hyde." he shook the guy's hand.

"Ok, I'm gonna cut straight to the chase." Chuck drawled out "she knows you're here and she won't respond well to your presence."

"I guessed as much" Hyde replied sarcastically.

"Well we're going to have to handle this thing carefully. If this doesn't go well I have no doubt your father will go through with his threats." Chuck's jaw tensed "Now don't get me wrong, Chuck Bass is afraid of nothing, but…" he looked at Hyde "I recognized a little of myself in Mr. Barnett and the legal battle alone would take years and well…time is money."

Hyde wondered briefly what this Chuck guy was talking about. When he'd spoken with WB, there'd been no mention of a legal battle, just that Jackie's manager had agreed to allow him to accompany them. He didn't want Jackie to feel like he was trying to take anything from her, he just wanted to be included. Brushing the matter off in his excitement to finally meet his child and see Jackie again, he responded. "Whatever, just tell me how we're gonna do this."

**I'm moving to Manhattan**

**And I'm never looking back**

**Never looking back again…**

* * *

A/N - So, admittedly I hit the eggnog pretty hard while writing this. Hopefully this chapter is just as good in the sober light of day. I'm sorry it's super long, and I guarantee, it'll be the only chapter in this story that is this long. It's probably a little sadder and introspective than I plan most chapters to be as well, but I needed it to get me to the next part of the story and to give you a clue as to each person's motivations. Plus, you can't really address season 8 w/out at least a minimal amount of angst. Also, don't worry, the rest of the gang will appear again soon in the story. And finally, I've worked out a schedule so that I can work on this story and American Girl at the same time. The others will take a brief hiatus until this story is finished. The song is "Manhattan" by Mozella. Check her out. I love her songs. I'm using 2 more of her songs in this story, they're so awesome!


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